im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
