I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
