found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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