Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
