okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
