and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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