whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
