Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
