Im at strip club and am horny
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
