i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
