it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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