so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
