Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

(301): View more from Maryland

but she's really nice

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(212): View more from New York

I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

(630): View more from Illinois

I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

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(214): View more from Texas

Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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(909): View more from California

If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.

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