I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize