What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
