Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
