she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I still have a little drunk in my system
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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