I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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