We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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