It's just like the Real World with babies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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