Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
