omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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