Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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