I hate your face
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
