Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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