Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
