and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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