I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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