I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
