guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
