Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
