Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
