He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
