please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
