You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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