Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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