North Korea, Best Korea!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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