She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
