Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
