dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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