I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize