remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize