Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
