i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
