There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
