I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
