Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
