do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
