he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
