Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
