Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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