i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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