I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
