Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
