I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
