I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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