Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
