im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
