Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
